About the Pink Shoelace Foundation

In 2017 my son Bailand passed away. In the weeks and months after his funeral, I was honored to hear so many stories, both by his peers and their parents, about how aware he was about those around him and how he helped by simply making sure that they were doing OK. There were so many nights he would come home after the time he should have been home, letting me know that he was taking someone home who didn’t have a ride or even just talking with them so they had someone to listen.

Since then, I have realized so many things that are important for others to notice when someone is grieving. Many of the signs a person is grieving are not loud or visible to everyone else, even though the person may be screaming inside for help. I have been one of them who did not want to do or say anything so people knew that I was hurting and needed help.

That’s where the pink shoelace comes in. Bailand did something that I didn’t realize he was doing that created so many connections. He simply wore pink shoelaces in his cleats or a pink shoelace in his lacrosse basket. I didn’t understand why he did this until after he passed away. It was not to get everybody’s attention. It was a conversation starter to build connections.

Some of the players on other teams noticed his pink shoelaces and would say something, which would start a conversation that led to a connection off the field.

I miss him every day. I’m still not that person who is going to walk around publicly asking for people to ask if I’m doing OK.

Thus the pink shoelace. Now I wear one pink shoelace, if someone asks about it I simply say “It is in honor of my son, Bailand, who passed away. Thank you for asking.” And that starts the conversation.

The Pink Shoelace Foundation was set up as a reminder of how important connections are when a person is grieving, for whatever reason it may be. Many people want to support someone they love who is grieving, however they don’t know how or even what to say. By simply replacing one regular shoelace with one pink shoelace and just walk with them, it will say so much in support of the grieving person without saying a word.

And sometimes, the most important thing to do to support them is a simple pink shoelace and begin to walk with them.